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This one is a biggie because most of us get at least one helping of it. None of us get enough love. It’s just not possible. We enter this world completely dependent on someone else, physically and emotionally, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. There hasn’t been one set of parents in all of human history who has had the ability to satisfy the insatiable needs of an infant. It truly does take a village to raise a child. Add another kid or two into the mix and forget about it.

We grow up competing for love and attention. We’ll do anything to get it. We’ll be perfect, troublesome, depressed, sick, hurt, or even a superstar. Throwing some parental neglect and abuse on this ravenous need can produce some deeply seated emotional charges.

Unworthiness can be expressed in a variety of ways but tends to gravitate into two extremes: under- and overachieving. This is not only limited to jobs and careers; it can also spill into relationships. Examples may include the workaholic executive who is always vying for supervisor approval or someone who continues to sabotage seemingly healthy intimate relationships. The underlying subconscious message is the same: I’m not worthy.

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